Elizabeth Barrett Browning stated in one of her poems “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” She then goes on to profess her love for this person by numerous comparisons. We as a culture have listened to songs, watched movies, read poems and stories with love as the topic. Whether it’s about new love, old love, lost love, found love, falling “in” love, falling “out” of love, learning to love, or any other iteration of love, we all have our idea of what is love and how to recognize it… or we think we can recognize it.
"Love who you wanna love."
"The heart wants what the heart wants," stated Woody Allen in trying to justify his affair with a woman half his age who was also his adopted daughter. I believe he was trying to simply say, love is not logical. There is no calculation, algorithm, or formula that can predict, detect, or even postulate how this state comes about. Some state the feeling or the state of being in love is similar to the same state the brain experiences when consuming large amounts of chocolate. But the brain can be fooled… it can be placed in a state of confusion, meditation, it can be manipulated by hallucinogens, lack of oxygen or blood, it can be placed into a trance and made to believe what doesn’t exist. But the heart… that’s a different story.
The heart is not only just a vital organ, it gives us insight into who we truly are. Sometimes this can be perceived as a good thing and sometimes it can be perceived as bad, but all in all the heart simply doesn’t lie. It knows what it needs to survive, it knows what it wants to relieve the pain it feels, it knows what it desires to feel complete. While the trick is to discern if what is being felt is legitimately from the heart or your brain tricking you, one can never dismiss it fully or truly know. With all that stated, I sit impatiently for the Supreme Courts ruling on DOMA.
For those who do not know me, I am an advocate for equality in all things and to me, the current debate on same-sex marriage is one my soapbox cannot avoid. No, I’m not gay or pro-gay or anti-gay for that matter because to me, your sexual preference is (and get this), YOUR BUSINESS. No, I’m not anti-christian. No, I’m not anti-conservative or pro-liberal. No, I’m not anti-America. No, I’m not anti-traditional families. I am pro-Civil Rights (privileges). I am pro-justice.
Now I know some of you are already reaching for your mouse (if you haven’t already) to move onto the next piece of drivel the Internet has to offer and if you’re about to click to something else… that’s fine by me, just feel free to drop an email to me telling me who you are so I can avoid you going forward. This is a topic that has no areas of grey for me.
"Marriage, it’s Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve."
The institution covertly manipulated and designed for business/strategic purposes to strengthen allies or bring peace to warring factions. Adam and Eve were never officially married by God, at least I don’t remember reading in Genesis, Exodus, or Deuteronomy that God sent someone or him/herself to perform the ceremony. God simply made woman from man for man so he could have a companion (yeah, even typing… I better not finish that line). I could be wrong and there is some obtuse verse that goes into detail about their “coupling” ceremony and the expectations set by God and this is where the “hoopla” is coming from regarding “Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve”. Anyway…
I know some religious leaders who feel that marriage is an institution created and implemented by God and my only response to that is… what about those ceremonies that appeared in those other lands that didn’t have this concept of the Christian God? Are they valued less than those performed by a Christian leader? Are they invalid? And if so, does that mean the rules established by society don’t apply? To me, if this is the case, that argument is extremely illogical and invalid. So what really is the issue here?
"A traditional family is better for raising children."
The troubles any child faces whether it’s bullying, racism, bigotry, hatred of any kind, is all society made. Yes, I said it. WE CREATE IT. We instill these values, these beliefs. I truly believe if we are being observed by beings from a different world, all they need to do is watch our children as we strip their innocence away. See how we propagate their minds with fear, loathing, bias, and cynicism, all the while telling them that any decisions or thoughts opposite of what we impart on them is wrong.
"Well, I don’t want to see it."
Really? You don’t want to see it? What don’t you want to see? Two guys making out in the mall, I don’t want to see that either. Two women doing the same? I don’t… wait, I would probably pause, sorry honey. But anyway, there is a boatload of crap I don’t want to see (FOXNews, MSNBC, Anthony Weiner (strike that ALL POLITICIANS), Antoine Dodson, Sweet Brown, Paula Deen, Westboro Bapist Church). But guess what? As an American, I have to RESPECT the FACT they have the right to be who they are - PERIOD. I may not like it or disagree with their points of view or their lifestyle but I have to respect it, that’s one of the prices that one must pay to be part of this country now. Maybe 200+ years ago when all the power was concentrated to wealthy white males, things could be (and would be) different. But that’s not the case now, it’s the 21st century. America and its people have changed dramatically. The world culture and its people have changed. Get over it.
"It threatens the fabric of the traditional family."
Ha! Yes, the traditional family is consistently threatened by “the gays”. I’ve sat in on their secret monthly meetings and realized this is one of their top priorities. It’s right next to acquiring the same privileges you have in the eyes of the government and the American people and figuring out how to reduce the amounts of hoops they have to jump through to adopt a child. Get over yourself. My family isn’t perfect and any problems we’ve come across was due to a lack of communication and lack of setting clear expectations. Nothing more, nothing less.
"It’s an affront to God and they shouldn’t allowed to be married."
Let’s be honest here. If you believe in God and you believe this is a sin, God will take care of it. If you are minister and feel this way, don’t perform the ceremony or attend one.
"The government shouldn’t be making rules on religious matters."
Solid point. But let’s take it one step further. Since marriage (not civil unions) can be equated to being a religious act, let’s take marriage out of ALL government. Take away the tax incentives, take away divorce courts, licenses, inheritance, blood tests, the works. Keep a church institution out of government then there is no discrepancies. If we can’t do that, then take the good with the “bad” and move on.
So in conclusion, in today’s America we are more diverse than we ever were before, which means we are all different and in that lies our greatest strength, but we are treating it as an extreme weakness for whatever reason. Once we’ve realized every person has the same rights/privileges as anyone else regardless of our personal beliefs, then we’ve taken one step closer to a true Camelot.
I feel better now that I’ve gotten this off my chest and I have probably made a few more enemies in the process and guess what? ”I can live with it. I CAN live with it. I can LIVE with it.” =/\=